Moving to Janesville Wisconsin I discovered a group called “Apathy Anonymous.” There was no membership list, no dues, no meetings. It was the creation of the President of Norwood Mills. One of the items that he offered was the following paper that I found extremely important. That is the reason that I share it with all who might take the time to read the suggestions that Thomas Nilser produced.
24 WAYS TO BETTER COMMUNICATION
BY DR. THOMAS R. NILSER DEPARTMENT OF SPEECH UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON SEATTLE, WASHINGTON
From time to time it is well to review some of the principles of good communication. The following statements summarize suggestions that have appeared in various journals and books. The list will remind busy people of communication principles that sometimes get submerged in the day-to-day routine.
1. If there is one thing more important than any other to good communication, it is self-knowledge. To get better acquainted with your self take fifteen to twenty minutes in quiet each day to reflect on yourself, your purpose, your relationship with your fellow human beings and the organization for which you work.
2. What is said and done, day–to–day on the job, is the most important part of communication in business and industry. Intellectual honesty, living what is said, acting cooperation as well as talking about it, is essential to developing good communication within an organization.
3. No matter what we say or how we say it, no one else gets quite the meaning we intend from the words we use. By the same token, we never get quite the meaning anyone else intends.
4. One of the biggest obstacles to communication is our tendency to evaluate, to pass judgement on, to agree or disagree with statements before we find out what is meant.
5. Another important obstacle is our feeling that we have to defend ourselves by defending what we have said.
6. When listening, look for what the speaker intends, not just what is said.
7. When talking, think in terms of the total impression you create, not just the words that are used.
8. When talking, consider every indication of the listener’s response, not just whether the instruction or directions are understood.
9. Ask more questions, to see whether your listeners have understood what is intended. Have your instructions repeated, “to see if I’ve said what I mean.” check for understanding at the time of talking.
10. Misunderstandings are inevitable, and therefore the kind of atmosphere needs to be created that will encourage people to ask questions when they don’t fully understand.
11. Where difficulties arise, try to keep the talking centered on the problem rather than on personalities.
12. Remember, as the other person sees the situation, he/she is right.
13. When individuals disagree, try to get each to state the other’s position, each to the satisfaction of the other. We can try this too.
14. Recognize that in discussion disagreement is normal and inevitable. Expect it, prepare for it, use it to obtain greater awareness of the various aspects of the problem at hand.
15. Don’t abruptly disprove someone’s statement, and don’t directly contradict. Disprove indirectly, preserving the other person’s ego in the process.
16. Control your own natural ego-building desire to get the upper hand, to show up weaknesses in the other person’ point of view. Do reveal weaknesses when they are important but do it in a way that leaves the other person’s ego intact.
17. Take every honest opportunity to make the other person feel better or more important.
18. An important function of communication within an organization is to make known or bring to light misunderstandings and misapprehensions before they develop into serious problems.
19. It is usually a good idea, after a person has poured out a gripe, to ask the person to describe the situation again, “to make sure that you get it straight,” Telling a gripe the second time often makes it seem less important.
20. Vary rarely will anyone change his/her mind by being asked to, told to, or argued with. He/She must come to see the situation differently, and this is not likely to happen as long as a personal threat is seen in the situation or there is a need to defend one’s self.
21. When talking, pause more often to think through what you are about to say. We create strong impressions by the way we phrase ideas and whether we make rambling or concise statements.
22. Tone of voice is more important than we think. Consider the impressions that are being created with your tone of voice.
23. Body movements offer clues to feelings, meanings, and attitudes. Random, involuntary movements often suggest that the speaker is ill at ease or impatient. Consider what is being communicated by your body movements.
24. Be as direct and as candid as is possible under the circumstances. Your listener is very important.
Communication is vital to our acquiring information as well as sharing information. Hope that these suggestions are helpful for your developing communication skills.
